Social Minefield: How To Quit Your Job

[W]hen my friends have been in the position of wanting to leave an entry-level job they were ready to be done with, I just try to remind them that no one expects them to stay at the bottom of the pay scale forever. If there’s no room for growth, and you have been there for a year, your boss will understand that you have your career to think about.

And if he/she doesn’t, that’s too bad. Your boss isn’t the one trying to pay rent, utilities, and student loans while simultaneously trying to figure out what to do with her life. And if she is, maybe it’s time for her to quit too.

When you need to get out fast

Many people give two weeks’ notice as a courtesy, and some companies require it. When you give notice, your employer may ask you to leave right away — in which case they’re probably not obligated to pay you for the two-week period. On the flipside, though, they may try to get you to stay longer. If you don’t want to — and, especially if you have a new job lined up, it may be in your interests not to — you need to be firm. Suster suggests including a “presumptive close” when you give notice, saying something like, “So I just want to confirm with you that you want me to stay the full two weeks,” as though that time period and no more is already a done deal. If your boss argues, here’s Suster’s script:

I understand why you’d feel that way and I’d love to help. But it’s super important to me that I don’t lose this opportunity and I’m 100% sure I’m going to eventually join. So I’d really like to work with you to minimize any pain for you. I can take those two weeks […] and really do a thorough transition to anybody you’d like. I’m happy to put in evenings and weekends to make this transition smooth. Please let me know how to best help.

In general, play nice, but don’t let your employer guilt-trip you. You have your career to consider, and they can find somebody else.

When you’ve suffered discrimination or harassment

Obviously, we hope this never happens to you. But the reality is, it can. We talked to Elie Mystal of Above the Law for some advice on what to do. He broke it down into choices: speak up, or get out quietly. On speaking up:

If you are willing to risk your career with a harassment lawsuit (and fair or unfair, it is a career risk), you need to document everything. Every slight, every opportunity you were passed over for, basically any piece of hard evidence that suggests you’ve been mistreated. The process of quitting with a viable lawsuit at your back takes time. You actually might have to put yourself in an unfair situation for a little bit longer just to build up the record of the unfair treatment. It’s sad, but you have to assume A) nobody will believe you, and B) anything you’ve ever done that makes you look like a bad employee will be brought against you.

And obviously, there is no way to know that you will win your suit. Even if you do, it will take years before you see and settlement money or back pay. It’s a huge risk. But, if people weren’t willing to stand up and take those risks and hold employers accountable, we’d be 50 years behind in terms of racial and sexual equality in the workplace.

As admirable and necessary as it is that people speak out against harassment and discrimination, whether you do so through legal action is a personal decision, and you’re not obligated to put your career on the line unless that’s what you truly want. If it’s not, here’s Mystal’s advice:

If you just need to get out of there and you don’t want to the trouble of a lawsuit, then what you are really worried about is how to explain “why” you left your old job when a new potential employer asks. Generally, you don’t want to say “my old boss was a racist jackass” in a job interview. For whatever reason, that makes potential employers think you are a liability risk. Nobody want to hire a squeaky wheel or somebody they perceive as oversensitive. But there are subtle clues and code words you can use. Employers who are paying attention (and, you know, care about equality) will notice.

“My opportunities for advancement were… limited.”
“They really wanted me to stay, but it wasn’t a good fit.”
“I’m looking for a more team oriented workplace environment.”

Those kinds of phrases signal that you weren’t forced out of your old job, but they also say that you weren’t really comfortable at your old job. Hopefully, a new employer will read between the lines without you having to spell it out.

And in terms of telling your current employer, this is probably a time for “personal reasons.”

When you actually have to stay

Mystal says “I always advise people to leave as soon as they can if they feel they are in a situation where they’re being harassed.” But what if your job is just boring and soul-sucking, and you want out but you can’t quit … yet? Congratulations, you’re in good company — for every spectacular quitting story, there are millions of people slogging away at jobs that piss them off but provide a much-needed paycheck. What to do in this situation? Well, you could burn down the building — but we advocate a subtler approach. Make liberal use of whatever perks your job offers. Free copying? Make a zine (secretly, of course). Employee discount? Buy shit for your friends (make sure they pay you up front). Career development/skill-building classes? Take those, even if they sound boring, so you can get a better job down the line. Meanwhile, indulge your dreams of quitting — like, say, casting a pox upon your company in the name of Satan. Or, you know, just peeing on everything.

The Right Way To Quit [Business Insider]
How To Tell Your Boss That You’re Quitting [Business Insider]
Your Most Spectacular ‘I Quit’ Stories [Gawker]
Above The Law [Official Site]

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