SZA (Rightfully) Discriminates Against Cancer Signs

It’s been a big week for SZA stans (sad sluts, non-derogatory). Currently, our girl is gearing up to perform (and probably win big) at the Grammys and, on Tuesday, confirmed an upcoming collaboration with Paramore. In the midst of it all though, we’ve become privy to a very pertinent piece of information: SZA does not like Cancers.

On Tuesday, Apple Music posted an interview with the R&B goddess on TikTok in which she was asked to match some of her song titles to astrological signs. She began with Capricorn: “I’m trying to think of the driest song I have…” (“Nobody Gets Me”) before moving on to Aquarius (the Phoebe Bridgers-backed “Ghost In The Machine”), and so on. Because I’m an Aries, I immediately skipped to mine. Obviously. “Now, that’s F2F, and like, you did it for the thrill.” Some lyrics: “I just had to get my rocks off/You got no loyalty, you push me ‘til I pop off.” So true, bestie!

@applemusic

Queen of #Astrology 👑 Watch SZA’s #AppleMusicLive performance on Wednesday, January 31st at 7PM PT, only on Apple Music.

♬ original sound – Apple Music

Things got all the more interesting when SZA got to Cancer signs, however. “Cancer…” she began, appearing to mull on the right match. “I don’t make Cancer music, respectfully,” she said before swiftly moving on. Before you continue reading, I ask that you go perform a wellness check on every Cancer in your life who might’ve heard the news of SZA’s slight and have no doubt taken it as personally as possible.

Obviously, it would be easy to conclude that SZA—like every other woman interested in men in this world—is simply speaking from a Cancer-specific PTSD. And while I don’t support discriminating against any astrological sign, discriminating against Cancers is correct for this very reason. However, I took the liberty of examining her astrological chart posted by her astrologist, Jaadee, in 2019, and I found a few things that could explain her apparent disdain.

SZA is a Scorpio sun and a (gulps) Pisces moon. It gets worse. Much of her chart is, in fact, composed of the three water signs (Scorpio, Pisces, Cancer). Lilith? Scorpio. Chiron? Cancer. Mercury? Scorpio. You get it. And if you don’t, I invite you to visit Jaadee’s social media accounts. She’ll explain.

So, if you ask me (not a professional astrologist or psychologist), it seems like SZA isn’t opposed to Cancers simply because of bad experiences with them but because she’s a garden variety self-hating water sign, herself. As a Cancer moon and Pisces rising…relatable!

Don’t feel bad, Cancers. Sagittarians also got dragged to hell. When asked what their song match was, SZA replied: “That has to be a song that talks the most crazy…so, basically, ‘Supermodel.’”