Brooklyn Beckham Continues to Be the Blueprint Simp

A belated happy anniversary is in order for the Peltz-Beckhams! Yes, it’s been two whole years since Brooklyn and Nicola Peltz-Beckham’s nuptials—which some might remember took place just one week after hundreds of migrant workers protested “modern-day slavery” and various human rights violations outside of her billionaire father’s $23 million Palm Beach office.

But anyway! Now, it’s already been well-documented that the eldest son of Posh and Becks is my favorite nepo baby. Truly, no other nepo baby has tried quite as hard to have a career. I mean, the kid has been a photographer, stylist, and, of course, chef, all before the age of 30. As it turns out, the job he’s perhaps most qualified for is a devoted husband. In fact, Beckham has probably taken home employee of the month every month for the last two years.

 

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The most recent evidence of such arrived on Tuesday when, in celebration of his wedding anniversary, Beckham wrote a handwritten love letter to his wife which she shared on Instagram. Because what good is a deeply felt private profession—albeit one devoid of punctuation and grammar—if you can’t post about it and make the masses jealous? “[Hand]-written cards melt my heart,” Peltz wrote in her stories. “I love you so much @brooklynpeltzbeckham.”

It reads, as follows:

Dear Nicola,

Happy Anniversary baby, I love you lots you have no idea. You are my best friend, and my angel

I am so lucky to be your husband, you make me a better man, and you make me the best version of myself.

I can’t believe it’s been four years together and two years married I feel like I’ve known you forever I’m so lucky I get to travel with you everywhere.

I couldn’t have asked for a better person to spend my life with, you are going to be the best mummy someday. I can’t wait to have babies with you babygirl.

I WILL always and forever protect you and always keep you my number one.

I love you with all my heart, I love you Nicola Peltz-Beckham.

Love Brooklyn

Sure, it’s a bit saccharine, and stream of consciousness in a way that overwhelms me given I personally cannot recall an occasion in which a partner has strung together more than 2.5 complimentary sentences about me. However, it’s also nice to see a man spend his peak fuckboy years simping for his wife. He even took her last name and has seemingly ignored her bitchy texts to their third set of wedding planners for god’s sake!

Should you need further convincing of his devotion, take one look at Beckham’s Instagram grid. More than half is some sort of dedication to his wife. There are random posts like this, birthday tributes, and promotions of her work. Not to go tit-for-tat but last time I checked, Peltz hasn’t posted anything about his botulism roast or Nanny Peggy’s breakfast sando…

Anyway, the point is, I can’t even get a text back from a thirty-something man and this child husband is content to be a stay-at-home Shakespeare. Brooklyn, if you’re reading this: If ever you tire of the Mrs. (and her evil dad), I’m around. And I promise I won’t edit your love letters.