JB Pritzker Has Cracked the Code on Bashing Trump Without Being Boring

I know stanning politicians is a fool's errand. My bad!

Politics Democratic National Convention
JB Pritzker Has Cracked the Code on Bashing Trump Without Being Boring

CHICAGO — Since 2016, to mixed results, Democrats have struggled to run on anything beyond “Trump bad, us good.” And I get it—he’s pretty bad! But galvanizing people to vote for you on something that’s not just feeling terrified of the other guy requires you to draw actual, meaningful contrasts between yourself and your opponent.

Enter Illinois Gov. J.B. Pritzker: On Tuesday night, at the Democratic National Convention in Chicago, the United Center was electric when the famously Big Boy stepped on stage and, for seven consecutive minutes, bashed Trump and articulated what Democrats would, or at least should, do differently. He managed to make it fun, too (and I say that as someone who is automatically bored when I’m staying at my parents’ house, my mom turns on MSNBC, and I have to hear the same song and dance about Trump we’ve been hearing for eight years now).

“Donald Trump says that we should trust him on the economy, because he claims to be very rich, but take this from an actual billionaire—he’s only rich in one thing: stupidity,” Pritzker said at one point. “I meet with business leaders all the time and there’s one universal thing they all need: more workers to fill all the jobs they have. But the anti-freedom, anti-family policies of MAGA Republicans are driving workers away.”

Pritzker seemed to be referring to the anti-union laws and anti-abortion laws imposed by the GOP. Numerous surveys have shown women workers—understandably!—avoid jobs in states that have banned abortion. In Pritzker’s state of Illinois, he’s signed several bold bills to ensure the state remains a beacon for abortion access in the Midwest; Illinois has seen one of the sharpest increases in out-of-state abortions since the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade.

“Here’s the thing: Americans don’t want to be forced to drive 100 miles to deliver a baby because a draconian abortion law shut down the maternity ward. Americans want the hope of giving birth through IVF, not the fear that it might be taken away,” he said, referring to the horrific consequences of the Alabama Supreme Court’s ruling that frozen embryos are “extrauterine children” and thereby qualify for unlawful death lawsuits—a ruling that temporarily shuttered IVF services across the state in February. “Americans with LGBTQ kids don’t want them facing discrimination at school because the state sanctioned them. Americans want to go to their grocery store and not have to worry about some random guy open carrying an AR-15.”

Pritzker then took aim at Trump and the GOP’s latest, increasingly shameful lines of attack on race: “Americans don’t want their kids to be taught in history class that slavery was a jobs program,” he said, referencing the public education standards in Florida that were adopted under Ron DeSantis’ administration, and which teaches that slavery had “benefits.” Pritzker continued: “And if Americans are Black or brown, they want to get promoted at work without being derided as a ‘DEI hire’ for the sin of being successful while not white,” Within 48 hours of Kamala Harris taking Biden’s place at the top of the ticket, several House Republicans came out swinging, referring to her as a “DEI hire” for being Black and South Asian.

Pritzker’s criticisms of Trump only got more pointed—and more fun—as he continued to lay out actual policy positions. “It’s not ‘woke’ that limits economic growth. It’s weird. And these guys aren’t just weird, they’re dangerous,” he said, in a nod to Tim Walz’s now famous dig at Republicans for being obsessed with forced birth and children’s genitals. “Democrats are for lower taxes and higher wages, less inflation and more business growth—we just think it’s wrong to craft those policies for Elon Musk, and not for everyday working people.”

“We think the government should help you prosper, not police who you’re sleeping with,” Pritzker concluded.

The remainder of his speech was a series of throat punches against Trump: “More than anything Democrats want economic policies that are kind, not cruel. But Trump chooses cruelty every time—everything he’s achieved in his own life has been by hurting someone else.” Pritzker also argued that Harris and Walz “know that a White House that leads with kindness, looks at someone who’s struggling and sees not what they might cost society, but what they might create for it.” His final line was a pitch for giving Harris a promotion: “It’s time to stop expecting women to clean up our messes without the authority and the title to match the job.”

I know stanning politicians is a fool’s errand. I know you may have read this and wondered if it’s a Jezebel blog or MSNBC script. My bad! But it’s not my fault the man is so big, strong, and likable…

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