Meet Midnight Red, America's Answer to One Direction


Start screaming, ladies. We got an email today alerting us to Midnight Red, a boy band “with an edgy yet all-American twist on the boy-band resurgence,” a resurgence so dominated by British bands right now that they’re making America’s notable contributions to the boy band landscape seem like a distant fever dream.

Midnight Red’s poor PR team describes them as “A fresh new force on today’s pop landscape”, a band that you know is truly American because Coke has chosen them as THE dudes to push their particular brand of legal American crack cocaine this summer.

Midnight Red used to go by FLYTE but they changed it because they thought that it would be catchier to invoke an inopportune time when a woman could get her period. No JK they changed it because one of them had a dream that they should. “It signified like, midnight is like that hour you want to go out, when you’re young you want to sneak out and go have fun when the clock strikes twelve…[and] red is such a dominant, vivacious color that is very like, in your face,” they’ve said. The boys of Midnight Red refer to their fans as “RedHeads” and have performed with New Kids on the Block and Carly Rae Jepson. You may have happened across their cover of Taylor Swift’s “I Knew You Were Trouble” during a late night acoustic cover wormhole.

A trip to their website is necessary to tell these five apart. You could pick your favorite now…

But that would be pointless because Thomas aka He With The Heroin Addict Eyes is clearly the star:

Especially because this is what he looks like in that Taylor Swift cover video:

“Usually people have the idea or misconception that boy bands are manufactured,” Heroin Eyes explains, but for Midnight Period, that is not the case; a few of them met while auditioning to be the new Menudo. Eventually, they found Joey on YouTube floating amongst the other Justin Bieber wannabes and their handlers sent them Colton to make sure they had a fifth because it’s not a good boybang without a fifth.

Midnight Red’s newest video/single/big push at stardom is called “Take Me Home”. In the video, these All-American Boys perform some of the worst dance moves seen in recent boy band history. The video’s concept isn’t too different from their previous one entitled “Hell Yeah” (which was released last summer but didn’t really hit big), in that it features lots of partying and fun, or One Direction’s “What Makes You Beautiful“, in which the One D boys frolic on a beach. The big selling point of “Take Me Home” is that it features some of the best sand-dancing seen since Beyoncé made that popular.

Will Midnight Red provoke One Direction levels of fandom? They have just as good a shot as any of the other numerous boy band (or girl group) offerings out there. They are sans accents but do have a few ambiguously ethnic members. Most of them are a little old to really be referring to themselves as “boys,” though that hasn’t stopped Backstreet. Their songs sound about the same as any other boy band clogging up your airwaves right now. The key difference here is that with dance moves like this, we should all hope that Midnight Red never goes anywhere.

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