What To Wear To A Morgan Freeman Party?


Last night, Morgan Freeman was the recipient of the 39th AFI Life Achievement Award. His peers from the industry showed up to pay homage, some in appropriate ensembles and others, not so much.

Here are three beautiful ladies that all missed the mark by a slight margin. I bet Gisele Bundchen’s dress looked stunning in person, but the hot pink bow made it very mall. I actually really like the cut of Stana Katic’s peasant dress, and I’m always a fan of sleeves, but the lace appliques and orthopedic shoes pushed it into old fart territory. As for Ana de la Reguera, I’ve just seen this purple one-sleeve thing way too many times on Countess LuAnn.

The women who leaned toward more casual dresses had better luck. Can you believe how sexy 53-year-old Fran Drescher is? Kimora Lee did summery black while Paz Vega did office chic.

My grandma used to have these air freshener cone things in her bathroom that had this jelly-like material inside. And she had these specially-made dolls with long, full dresses that served as a sort of cone decoration. Anyway, Hebe Camargo reminds me of one of those cone dolls. Helen Mirren should’ve followed that rule of removing one accessory before leaving the house. As for Rita Moreno, even though none of the grays in her billowy pantsuit match, I can’t hate because she’s looking at the camera like she’s pretending she’s going to scold someone for doing something that didn’t really make her mad. And it’s cute.

I really love Cuba Gooding Jr.’s wife’s dress, because, you know, sleeves. Camila Alves is amazing eye candy, and while Matthew McConaughey is wearing a very lovely tux, his head looks like it
belongs on the body of a scary hillbilly murderer. And then there’s Babyface—his tapered pants and suede shoes don’t really work with a bow tie.

I basically feel about Samantha Harris’ dress as I do about her: Meh. Amy Pascal—Co-Chairman of Sony Pictures Entertainment and Chairman of SPE’s Columbia TriStar Motion Picture Group—was named by Forbes as one of the most powerful women in the world. But not in floral print, she ain’t. Virginia Madsen is like if Ke$ha grew up and attempted to get her shit together. You can tell that she’s trying, but that she’s one popped button away from being a total mess.

Three reasons why men should not do jewelry: I don’t know whatever possessed film critic Leonard Maltin to wear a brooch. Also, I was unaware that Morgan Freeman was pierced in the “gay ear.” And then there’s Ben Vereen who has time traveled to 1993 so he could buy an ankh necklace at Claire’s.

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