Election 2024: Jezebel Edition

Here we've got breaking news; social media levity; behind-the-scenes looks as our staff slowly descends into madness; and, of course, all our election coverage. We're following all 10 abortion ballot measures, as well as a handful of close Senate, House, and governor races. Oh and that other big one. 

By Jezebel  |  November 5, 2024 | 7:55am
Photos: iStockphoto Politics 2024 Election
Election 2024: Jezebel Edition

Well, if you’re reading this, you likely already know the headline news. If not, I’m sorry to break the news that Donald Trump won the presidency. Again. The Electoral College and the popular vote.

It fucking blows, but we’re hanging in there to keep you posted on other important election news, like abortion ballot measures (which fared much better than Vice President Kamala Harris) and key Senate races.

If you feel like chatting, join our Discord, and if you feel like commenting, check out our Election Day (Week?) open thread. Otherwise, follow along here, and God help us.

Wednesday, November 6

4:35 p.m.: Republican Who Backtracked on Calling Trump a Sexual Predator Wins Governor’s Race

4:30 p.m.: Vice President Kamala Harris delivers at Howard University.

Afternoon: In Rare Win for Deep-Red State, Texas City Rejects Abortion Travel Ban

[What is time anymore]: Here’s another tweet.

10:45 a.m.: Do you feel like you need a tweet?

10:30 a.m.: Arizona Passes Abortion Amendment to End 15-Week Ban

10:30 a.m.: Herstory: For the 1st Time Ever, There Will Be 2 Black Women in the Senate

10:30 a.m.: Maryland Votes to Protect Abortion Rights

9:58 a.m.: Editor-in-Chief Lauren Tousignant asks what’s on our minds: How the fuck did it go this wrong again?!

5:38 a.m.: The Associated Press called the election for Trump. Hopefully you were sleeping soundly and not up checking your phone every 45 minutes.

12:30 a.m.: If you’re still reading this, go to BED! We won’t know anything until early morning at the absolute earliest. It’s time to rest our tired, anxious brains.

Tuesday, November 5

11:55 p.m.: Ted Cruz Extends His Reign of Terror for a 3rd Term

11:45 p.m.: Missouri Votes to Overturn Abortion Ban, But No Clinics Remain in the State

11:30 p.m.: Guy Who Called Women ‘Crazy’ for Caring About Abortion Wins Ohio Senate Race

11:00 p.m.: One More Win for Abortion Rights: Colorado Votes to Protect Procedure

10:55 p.m.: FYI, the Harris campaign manager sent a memo to staff and said they don’t expect to start seeing Wisconsin numbers until at least 3 a.m. EST…

10:15 p.m.: New Yorkers Say ‘Yes’ to Abortion Rights

9:40 p.m.: Mark Robinson, the loser for governor in North Carolina, conceded the race and said he was “disappointed for you, because I wanted this so bad for you. I wanted this for the people of North Carolina, not for me.” Classic.

9:24 p.m.: Delaware elects Sarah McBride, who will be the first trans member in the House of Representatives!


9:00 p.m.: Florida Abortion Rights Ballot Measure Fails After Months-Long Crusade by DeSantis

Amendment 4 narrowly failed to win 60% of the vote, meaning Florida’s devastating six-week abortion ban will stay in effect, whatever the presidential outcome.

8:30 p.m.: Looks Like North Carolina’s ‘Black Nazi’ Mark Robinson Can Return to Posting on Porn Forums All Day

8:00 p.m.: Delaware elects Lisa Blunt Rochester to the Senate!

7:30 p.m.: Beep Beep! ‘Bankrupt’ Rudy Giuliani Drives to the Polls in Car He Was Ordered to Surrender

7:20 p.m.: Kamala won Vermont (obviously). Hooray! But the state’s Republican governor voted for Kamala, telling reporters that he “did some soul searching and thought about a lot of different things … and came to the conclusion that I had to put country over party … and vote for Kamala Harris.” Nice.


6:00 p.m.: Election night drinking game just dropped

5:00 p.m.: Behind-the-Scenes at Jezebel’s election HQ: We’re chasing Takis with Cheetos


4:30 p.m.: Foreign Bomb Threats to Polling Sites & a Greased-Up Man at the Capitol: It’s Election Day in the USA!

3:30 p.m.: The Shock Iowa Poll—Like the Election at Large—Is About Abortion

3:00 p.m: Funny because it’s true!

2:30 p.m.: Patrick Mahomes’ Mom Did Not Join Her Daughter-in-Law in Taylor Swift’s Suite

2:15 p.m.: Great point.

2:00 p.m.: Trump Tells Reporter to ‘Just Stop Talking’ About Abortion

12:45 p.m.: Dear Conservative Women: You’ve Been Duped. 

12:30 p.m.: Fun fact!

12:15 p.m.: Did you get a regular “I Voted” sticker or did you get a cool one?

12:15 p.m.: A helpful breakdown of the abortion rights ballot measures that 10 states will be voting on today.
There Are 10 Abortion Amendments on the Ballot This Fall. Here’s What They’d Actually Do.

12:00 p.m.: Apparently, there’s a word for how we’re all feeling, Zozobra. “What makes zozobra so difficult to address is that its source is intangible. It is a soul-sickness not caused by any personal failing, nor by any of the particular events that we can point to,” according to The Conversation. Sounds about right!

11:30 a.m.: Are you having a watch party tonight? Let us know in the comments—none of us can decide if this is a good or bad idea.


11:00 a.m.: Enjoy this historical document:

@kadyrabbits no matter your political beliefs, i thibk we can all agree that the human brain was meant to endure 12 years of Katy Perry singing Firework #vote #kamalaharris #harriswalz #democrats #katyperry #firework #obama #biden ♬ original sound – kady ruth

10:00 a.m.: We’ve Endured 4 Election Cycles of Katy Perry’s ‘Firework’

7:00 a.m.: Election Day (Week?) Open Thread: I’m Dissociating! How About You?

6:00 a.m.: Behind-the-scenes at Jezebel HQ: An important consideration from Jezebel contributing editor Nora Biette-Timmons.

Monday, November 4

6:00 p.m.: Dear Conservative Women: You’ve Been Duped

5:00 p.m.: Friendly Reminder to Celebs: Send Your ‘Go Vote’ Tweets Before Polls Close!

4:30 p.m.:

4:00 p.m.: In Florida, Election Day Marks 6 Months Under State’s Abortion Ban

1:30 p.m.: Most Election Workers Are Women & Conspiracy Theories Are Endangering Their Lives

10:00 a.m.: 

 
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